You might think your date would be freaked if he knew you loved one particular thing to the point where you'd be happy to wear it, eat it, listen to it, or look at it every day, all day long — something that's so "you," it is you, like Blair Waldorf and headbands or Lady Gaga and not wearing pants.
But that's wrong. Guys find girls with healthy obsessions totally attractive. I'm not talking about a hobby; I mean a fixation that's completely unique. You see, indulging an obsession not only demonstrates that you have both passion and loyalty, but it also can serve as Cliffs Notes for your personality, clueing a guy in to the real you.
Loco for Coconuts
The first obsession I encountered involved coconut cream pie. A girl I dated for a year in Santa Fe, New Mexico, devoured the stuff. Blessed with a hummingbird's metabolism, this petite brunet would gobble that dessert anytime, anywhere, usually early in the morning at a diner located between her place and mine.
We'd pull over at Harry's Roadhouse, and it didn't matter that I thought the pie smelled like suntan lotion. While she dug into a slice the size of Delaware, we'd laugh and I'd pass the time taking cell phone pics of the whipped cream that hung from her nose like a stalactite.
In my mind, coconut cream pie became symbolic of what it was that I found so attractive about her: She was sweet and spontaneous, and she made any situation more fun just by being there.
Sneaker Addiction
Of course, some obsessions will make a guy turn and run, like a clown-mask fetish. But provided it isn't something scary, flaunting your one-of-a-kind passion is an easy way to lure in the right guy and keep the wrong guys — the ones who will never understand you anyway — from wasting your time.
I noticed my current girlfriend's obsession immediately. She was standing outside a bar, a striking blond dressed in sleek, stylish black clothes…and a pair of red low-top Converse. We started dating, and in the months since, those old-school sneakers have ended up on her feet way more often than her sexy heels have. At the beach, I was psyched to discover that she wears them with a Bond-girl gold bikini. I don't know much about fashion, but I'm pretty sure the slinky swimsuit and clunky sneakers clash so badly, even Halle Berry couldn't pull off that look.
But my girl does. Or I'd like to think she does. And those red Converse are a constant reminder that no matter how glamorous or flashy she may look from the ankles up, she's grounded and comfortable with who she is, and she doesn't waver when it comes to what she really loves…which I hope will someday include me.
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